Tag Archives: melbourne laneways

June 15

New Kids On The Block: Next Wave Festival

Watching Orlando (1992), directed by Sally Potter, on Netflix. Quentin Crisp playing Queen Elizabeth I, all done up in her Sunday best, says to Tilda Swinton, playing the young man Orlando: ‘Come. Your handsome leg. For you and for your heirs Orlando, a house. But on one condition. Do not fade. Do not wither. Do […]

February 23

Selfie Shite Night

I like a brightly coloured, shiny diversion from reality as much as the next person. But White Night Melbourne joins a global trend of governments corroding away democracy, while simultaneously presenting increasingly populist cultural programmes. White Night started in Russia, there’s one in Paris and Canada and in Tel Aviv. Cities presenting major events that […]

December 22

Miss Universal

During a Contemporary dance performance, they close the doors to the theatre behind you, and don’t let you out until they’re finished with you. This simple device enables the choreographer to make you sit through fluid, passionate tracts (long bits) of a variety of modern dance moves including: the rolling foetal; frantic bendy torso; the […]

December 16

Andy and Ai Weiwei; NGV

Ai Weiwei loves pussies. He has a snatch of pussies living with him at his studio complex, inspiring his creative impulses. It’s important to stand out from your peers when there are plenty of other pussies ‘round. One of Ai Weiwei’s pussies is so talented; its even learned to open a door. Competing for the […]

November 18

We Woz Robbed: Gertrude Street is Dirty and Thirty

At Gertrude Streets 30th birthday party and annual fundraiser on Friday night, I met Sarah Ritson. Sarah is my facebook friend. Sarah had a studio at Gerty back in ‘88, and said there were no oysters being served at fundraisers back then. When she moved into her studio, abandoned Howard Arkley paintings were stacked up […]

November 07

Going down in History

History repeats: online/offline (more cocks to wrestle) (Please Note- I’ve researched America because reading about Australia is depressing and we’re almost completely culturally colonised by them now too. I’m increasingly upset about being Australian.) History doesn’t write itself, men monopolize it. Men know it’s important, going down in history. But what about all the times I’ve […]

October 08

Deadpan

As a lad, Stelarc was suspended from high school for hanging out with bad types. He’d hooked up with the wrong crowd. Project Art Business (Card)- Warhol said the best art was business. He would say that, he sold his shit. He sold all his shit, except for that last series with Jean Michel Basquait. […]