Watching Orlando (1992), directed by Sally Potter, on Netflix. Quentin Crisp playing Queen Elizabeth I, all done up in her Sunday best, says to Tilda Swinton, playing the young man Orlando: ‘Come. Your handsome leg. For you and for your heirs Orlando, a house. But on one condition. Do not fade. Do not wither. Do […]
Tag Archives: melbourne laneways
February
23
Selfie Shite Night
posted by Natalie Thomas
I like a brightly coloured, shiny diversion from reality as much as the next person. But White Night Melbourne joins a global trend of governments corroding away democracy, while simultaneously presenting increasingly populist cultural programmes. White Night started in Russia, there’s one in Paris and Canada and in Tel Aviv. Cities presenting major events that […]
December
22
Miss Universal
posted by Natalie Thomas
During a Contemporary dance performance, they close the doors to the theatre behind you, and don’t let you out until they’re finished with you. This simple device enables the choreographer to make you sit through fluid, passionate tracts (long bits) of a variety of modern dance moves including: the rolling foetal; frantic bendy torso; the […]
December
16
Andy and Ai Weiwei; NGV
posted by Natalie Thomas
Ai Weiwei loves pussies. He has a snatch of pussies living with him at his studio complex, inspiring his creative impulses. It’s important to stand out from your peers when there are plenty of other pussies ‘round. One of Ai Weiwei’s pussies is so talented; its even learned to open a door. Competing for the […]
November
18
We Woz Robbed: Gertrude Street is Dirty and Thirty
posted by Natalie Thomas
At Gertrude Streets 30th birthday party and annual fundraiser on Friday night, I met Sarah Ritson. Sarah is my facebook friend. Sarah had a studio at Gerty back in ‘88, and said there were no oysters being served at fundraisers back then. When she moved into her studio, abandoned Howard Arkley paintings were stacked up […]
November
07
Going down in History
posted by Natalie Thomas
History repeats: online/offline (more cocks to wrestle) (Please Note- I’ve researched America because reading about Australia is depressing and we’re almost completely culturally colonised by them now too. I’m increasingly upset about being Australian.) History doesn’t write itself, men monopolize it. Men know it’s important, going down in history. But what about all the times I’ve […]
October
08
Deadpan
posted by Natalie Thomas
As a lad, Stelarc was suspended from high school for hanging out with bad types. He’d hooked up with the wrong crowd. Project Art Business (Card)- Warhol said the best art was business. He would say that, he sold his shit. He sold all his shit, except for that last series with Jean Michel Basquait. […]
September
17
Press release Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull Addresses the Nation
posted by Natalie Thomas
Hello there. I, Malcolm Turnbull am your new Prime Minister. I have been practicing successful party room spills all over my beloved wife Lucy’s party room floor for some years. ‘Yes Darling’ she gasps, ‘now is the time for the shafting, NOW!’ She still finds it very exciting, scheduling a meeting with my staff. Lucy’s […]
August
31
Modes of Non-Curatorship: An Artist as Curator Statement / Manifesto
posted by Natalie Thomas
If you’re an artist wanting to make a new friend, choose a curator to be best mates with. Sure, art collectors make good new friends too, but artists love to exhibit their art most. I wrote this some years back. One of the few luxuries of maintaining an arts practice is that you get to […]
August
18
TV Moore: A Night on the Tiles; ACCA
posted by Natalie Thomas
Timothy Vernon Moore seems to love nothing more than a night on the tiles. He convinced ACCA to invest in his hedonism too and it’s undergone an expansive floor to ceiling refurb for his show, With Love and Squalor. TV has literally rolled out the red carpet for himself and ACCA’s Dulux Paint sponsorship deal has also copped […]
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