October 13

Deadpan Opens

What happens on tour stays on tour. That’s what my rock star boyfriends always taught me during my former life as a highly popular groupie. I couldn’t help being attracted to a musician with great rhythm. A girl is only human. The onstage posturing, even helping lug round a drum kit, seemed like, totally OK. […]

October 08

Deadpan

As a lad, Stelarc was suspended from high school for hanging out with bad types. He’d hooked up with the wrong crowd. Project Art Business (Card)- Warhol said the best art was business. He would say that, he sold his shit. He sold all his shit, except for that last series with Jean Michel Basquait. […]

September 23

Melbourne Fringe Festival 2015

Unbeknownst to we creatives, Saturday night was (former) Arts Minister George Brandis’ last night in the job. Gee we’re all going to miss him. He really lead us on from out front and I for one, want to take this opportunity to thank him, as the outgoing arts minister, for his invaluable contribution to the […]

September 17

Press release Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull Addresses the Nation

Hello there. I, Malcolm Turnbull am your new Prime Minister. I have been practicing successful party room spills all over my beloved wife Lucy’s party room floor for some years. ‘Yes Darling’ she gasps, ‘now is the time for the shafting, NOW!’ She still finds it very exciting, scheduling a meeting with my staff. Lucy’s […]

September 08

Fake or Fortune: The Life and Times of Brett and Wendy Whiteley

My lawyer friend sent me the divorce settlement of Brett and Wendy Whiteley. Everyone should have at least one lawyer friend. The law intrigues me (artistically speaking), offering us a strange portrait of society and what it considers important. Maxine, as a small child, asked her Daddy: ‘when will Mum learn the law?’ Brett and […]

August 31

Modes of Non-Curatorship: An Artist as Curator Statement / Manifesto

If you’re an artist wanting to make a new friend, choose a curator to be best mates with. Sure, art collectors make good new friends too, but artists love to exhibit their art most. I wrote this some years back. One of the few luxuries of maintaining an arts practice is that you get to […]

August 18

TV Moore: A Night on the Tiles; ACCA

Timothy Vernon Moore seems to love nothing more than a night on the tiles. He convinced ACCA to invest in his hedonism too and it’s undergone an expansive floor to ceiling refurb for his show, With Love and Squalor. TV has literally rolled out the red carpet for himself and ACCA’s Dulux Paint sponsorship deal has also copped […]

August 07

“Trust me. I’m an Expert” Art Prizes: and the Winner Is…. ; Keith and Elizabeth Murdoch Travelling Fellowship; VCA

Art prizes are only any good if you win. The judges are only any good if they pick you. Judges are only any good if I’m a judge. Art prizes are only as good as the judges. Otherwise, they’re a bunch of mugs who confuse Judy Watson with Jenny Watson. Jon Campbell with Glen Campbell. […]

August 05

Julie Rrap: Remaking the World; Ian Potter Museum of Art, Melbourne University

Thank god someone is using their creative ‘museum time’ to imagine the world as a better place. This makeover, the making over of the world, is a big, ambitious job. The world is presently in one god-awful mess; a mess so extreme it’s easier to list what doesn’t need remaking than what does. We’ve outdone […]

July 30

The Hermitage: The Legacy of Catherine the Great; NGV Melbourne Winter Masterpieces

If you’re into titties, this is the Winter Masterpiece of the year for you! We got Flemish titties! Italian Master titties! Dutch titties and French titties and they’re just the old master paintings illustrating biblical scenes! The religious stories that see women falling out of their blouses, whilst all the men get to remain fully […]