Category Archives: Australian Art

November 20

Grayson Perry is an Imperialist Wanker; Art Words

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I’m in bed asleep. Suddenly, at the foot of the bed, Grayson Perry appears. ‘Oi! I’m angry with you Grayson Perry! Australia is angry with you Grayson Perry!’ I say. ‘Yes Yes. We know you’re coming to Australia soon for a major retrospective of your work at the MCA, ironically titled My Pretty Little Art […]

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November 18

We Woz Robbed: Gertrude Street is Dirty and Thirty

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At Gertrude Streets 30th birthday party and annual fundraiser on Friday night, I met Sarah Ritson. Sarah is my facebook friend. Sarah had a studio at Gerty back in ‘88, and said there were no oysters being served at fundraisers back then. When she moved into her studio, abandoned Howard Arkley paintings were stacked up […]

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November 07

Going down in History

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History repeats: online/offline (more cocks to wrestle) (Please Note- I’ve researched America because reading about Australia is depressing and we’re almost completely culturally colonised by them now too. I’m increasingly upset about being Australian.) History doesn’t write itself, men monopolize it. Men know it’s important, going down in history. But what about all the times I’ve […]

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October 29

Lurid Beauty

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Australian Surrealism and its Echoes Profound jokes are sometimes best told by those not trying to be funny. ‘The problem of woman is the most marvellous and disturbing problem in all the world’ wrote chief honcho surrealist Andre Breton in 1929, cue laugh track. A couple of self styled Aussie Andre Breton type characters graced […]

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October 18

As If: 40 years and beyond – Celebrating the Women’s Art Register

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Feminism is trending. Feminism hasn’t achieved equality for women, but it is gaining popularity. Again. People just love to talk. And whine and moan and gossip. Well, that’s women. That’s what women like doing, once we’ve finished the housework and bringing up the kids. As a political movement, feminism has been incredibly unsuccessful. If feminism […]

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October 16

Goulburn: The Tour continues…

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I once lived in a country town called Emerald in Central Queensland. I was the Home Economics teacher at Emerald High School, just down the road from Sapphire, 3 hours inland from Rockhampton, a speedy 9 hours drive down to Brisbane. When the new school teachers first turned up in town each year, the Principal hosted […]

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October 13

Deadpan Opens

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What happens on tour stays on tour. That’s what my rock star boyfriends always taught me during my former life as a highly popular groupie. I couldn’t help being attracted to a musician with great rhythm. A girl is only human. The onstage posturing, even helping lug round a drum kit, seemed like, totally OK. […]

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October 08

Deadpan

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As a lad, Stelarc was suspended from high school for hanging out with bad types. He’d hooked up with the wrong crowd. Project Art Business (Card)- Warhol said the best art was business. He would say that, he sold his shit. He sold all his shit, except for that last series with Jean Michel Basquait. […]

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September 23

Melbourne Fringe Festival 2015

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Unbeknownst to we creatives, Saturday night was (former) Arts Minister George Brandis’ last night in the job. Gee we’re all going to miss him. He really lead us on from out front and I for one, want to take this opportunity to thank him, as the outgoing arts minister, for his invaluable contribution to the […]

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September 17

Press release Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull Addresses the Nation

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Hello there. I, Malcolm Turnbull am your new Prime Minister. I have been practicing successful party room spills all over my beloved wife Lucy’s party room floor for some years. ‘Yes Darling’ she gasps, ‘now is the time for the shafting, NOW!’ She still finds it very exciting, scheduling a meeting with my staff. Lucy’s […]

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