Author Archives: Natalie Thomas

November 07

Going down in History

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History repeats: online/offline (more cocks to wrestle) (Please Note- I’ve researched America because reading about Australia is depressing and we’re almost completely culturally colonised by them now too. I’m increasingly upset about being Australian.) History doesn’t write itself, men monopolize it. Men know it’s important, going down in history. But what about all the times I’ve […]

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October 29

Lurid Beauty

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Australian Surrealism and its Echoes Profound jokes are sometimes best told by those not trying to be funny. ‘The problem of woman is the most marvellous and disturbing problem in all the world’ wrote chief honcho surrealist Andre Breton in 1929, cue laugh track. A couple of self styled Aussie Andre Breton type characters graced […]

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October 18

As If: 40 years and beyond – Celebrating the Women’s Art Register

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Feminism is trending. Feminism hasn’t achieved equality for women, but it is gaining popularity. Again. People just love to talk. And whine and moan and gossip. Well, that’s women. That’s what women like doing, once we’ve finished the housework and bringing up the kids. As a political movement, feminism has been incredibly unsuccessful. If feminism […]

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October 16

Goulburn: The Tour continues…

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I once lived in a country town called Emerald in Central Queensland. I was the Home Economics teacher at Emerald High School, just down the road from Sapphire, 3 hours inland from Rockhampton, a speedy 9 hours drive down to Brisbane. When the new school teachers first turned up in town each year, the Principal hosted […]

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October 13

Deadpan Opens

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What happens on tour stays on tour. That’s what my rock star boyfriends always taught me during my former life as a highly popular groupie. I couldn’t help being attracted to a musician with great rhythm. A girl is only human. The onstage posturing, even helping lug round a drum kit, seemed like, totally OK. […]

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October 08

Deadpan

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As a lad, Stelarc was suspended from high school for hanging out with bad types. He’d hooked up with the wrong crowd. Project Art Business (Card)- Warhol said the best art was business. He would say that, he sold his shit. He sold all his shit, except for that last series with Jean Michel Basquait. […]

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September 23

Melbourne Fringe Festival 2015

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Unbeknownst to we creatives, Saturday night was (former) Arts Minister George Brandis’ last night in the job. Gee we’re all going to miss him. He really lead us on from out front and I for one, want to take this opportunity to thank him, as the outgoing arts minister, for his invaluable contribution to the […]

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September 17

Press release Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull Addresses the Nation

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Hello there. I, Malcolm Turnbull am your new Prime Minister. I have been practicing successful party room spills all over my beloved wife Lucy’s party room floor for some years. ‘Yes Darling’ she gasps, ‘now is the time for the shafting, NOW!’ She still finds it very exciting, scheduling a meeting with my staff. Lucy’s […]

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September 08

Fake or Fortune: The Life and Times of Brett and Wendy Whiteley

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My lawyer friend sent me the divorce settlement of Brett and Wendy Whiteley. Everyone should have at least one lawyer friend. The law intrigues me (artistically speaking), offering us a strange portrait of society and what it considers important. Maxine, as a small child, asked her Daddy: ‘when will Mum learn the law?’ Brett and […]

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August 31

Modes of Non-Curatorship: An Artist as Curator Statement / Manifesto

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If you’re an artist wanting to make a new friend, choose a curator to be best mates with. Sure, art collectors make good new friends too, but artists love to exhibit their art most. I wrote this some years back. One of the few luxuries of maintaining an arts practice is that you get to […]

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